


the fishes swim left and right, thoughts of you swim in my head till midnight

by Ciasquare



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Dreamwalking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciasquare/pseuds/Ciasquare
Summary: Akira wakes, limbs flailing, arm still outstretched, to a reality where Goro is gone and will never come by LeBlanc again.How cruel, that even in his dreams, there's nothing he can say to make Goro stay.or5 times Akira dreams of Goro and 1 time he's not dreaming at all.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 13
Kudos: 182
Collections: 21 plus akeshuake server events





	the fishes swim left and right, thoughts of you swim in my head till midnight

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so honored to be the last fic closing off the 21+ akeshuake server minibang event!!! I hope after reading all the amazing submissions, you guys will still find mine enjoyable~ I was partnered with the talented [yiminkujo](https://twitter.com/yiimins?s=20) and you can find their art [here](https://twitter.com/yiimins/status/1305768934956621824)!!
> 
> Thanks so much to [Mocochang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mocochang), who isn't in the P5 fandom at all, but who has been reading my drafts and giving me feedback, suggestions and reassurance. I could have never gotten this done without her.
> 
> I also want to thank [elys](https://twitter.com/ainkwood?s=20) for the last minute beta read, [Armae](https://twitter.com/Armae49000810?s=20) who suggested the theme and helped with the title, and everyone else on the 21+ akeshuake server for their unending support and encouragement.
> 
> Special thanks to Gora, who I cannot tag because she is not a fangirl, but who has been really excited for me for this minibang. I think she's more excited than me that this is finally published.

The first time, Akira is in Tokyo. 

Sojiro is out and he's been entrusted with manning the counter of LeBlanc. It is late, not long till closing, and he busies himself with various chores - wiping down the booth tables, cleaning the coffee machine - when the door chimes as another customer walks in.

"Welcome to LeBlanc. What can I get you?" he's already saying as he turns to face the door.

Goro is standing in the gap. Akira’s breath catches in his throat. 

He looks like he always did. Put together, pristine, not a hair out of place. He's wearing that blue cashmere sweater vest, it makes him look soft and warm, brings out the brown of his shoulder length hair, of his eyes. He looks just as surprised as Akira feels, his eyes are wide and his mouth parted with a sharp intake of breath.

Akira opens his mouth to say something. Anything.

_How are you?_

_Why didn't you find me sooner?_

_I miss you._

But Goro purses his lips. He whirls around and Akira scrambles for the door, reaching out for him-

And wakes, limbs flailing, arm still outstretched, to a reality where Goro is gone and will never come by LeBlanc again.

How cruel, that even in his dreams, there's nothing he can say to make Goro stay.

* * *

On the second time, Akira is still in Tokyo.

Goro sits across from him, moving his white knight to a black square by leisurely pushing at it with his index finger. "You play as poorly as you did," he says, sounding both pleased and disdainful.

The late afternoon sun is streaming in from the windows behind Akira and it catches on the high of Goro's forehead, coloring the hair there in gold. Akira frowns, trying to focus on the board. He moves a bishop in for the knight. "Only so you can win."

"Thank you then," Goro smirks, and despite his efforts, Akira is drawn to the sharp quirk of his mouth, the bite of the one canine he can see. "Checkmate." Goro knocks the bishop over with his Queen. "How many games does this make?"

"I don't remember," Akira sighs as he clears the pieces and resets the board. "Does it matter?" 

"Maybe it doesn't to you, but I cherish every win I achieve."

"You don't have to do that with me." Akira swivels the board around and chooses a pawn to move forward.

Goro raises one eyebrow sardonically and moves one of his own pawns into play. "And why is that?"

"You've already won me over." Akira flashes Goro a toothy smile and Goro rolls his eyes.

"That is hardly true. I lost to you in our duel and in our fight on Shido's ship," he says, steamrolling over the line by missing the point, "Make your move."

Akira compliantly moves a knight forward, spinning it on the board as he does. "Mementos is gone now." 

Goro doesn't respond, resting his chin on his crossed fingers and studying the pieces. Akira lets him think for a minute before filling the silence, "I go back to Inaba tomorrow."

This startles Goro for some reason. He sits up entirely straight, giving Akira his full attention, chessboard forgotten. "I didn't know that."

"Well, I am."

Goro narrows his eyes. "Why?"

"There's nothing for me here."

"What do you mean? The Phantom Thieves are all here."

An irrational anger swells in his chest. Akira raises a hand to count down on his fingers. "Ryuji is going for physio out of Tokyo, Ann and Sumire are leaving the country, Makoto and Haru are going to college, Yusuke will be attending more art competitions and Futaba is starting school next year," he pauses and theatrically checks his fingers, before looking up and fixing Goro with a hard stare, "Oh, and you are dead."

Goro sputters, "That doesn't mean you have to leave."

"Why do you even want me to stay?"

"I just want you to be happy." Goro frowns at the chessboard pensively. "Will moving back to Inaba make you happy?" he asks, looking up with a strangely sincere look in his eyes. Akira is struck by just how fucking angry he is at turn this dream has taken. He stands up, slamming his hands down, accidentally hitting the edge of the folding table as he does and scattering chess pieces everywhere. 

"You want me to be happy. _You want me to be happy._ You know full well that you being alive would have made me fucking happy." Goro stares up at him in shock and it fuels the rage building in his veins. "If you wanted me to be happy, you wouldn't be fucking dead!" he roars, sweeping the chessboard off the table to join the pieces on the floor with a loud clatter.

The anger drains out of him and Akira sinks back into his chair, placing his face in his hands. 

There's a sound of a chair dragging against the wooden floor and when Akira looks up, Goro is walking away. Panic replaces the exhaustion. 

"Wait!" he calls out, getting to his feet, but the world is beginning to swim. Up is down and down is up. Left and right are concepts which are no longer applicable. "Wait! I'm sorry! Don't leave! Don't!"

Akira jerks awake with a start, the attic ceiling coming into view as his eyes adjust to the dark. 

He covers his eyes with his arm and tries not to cry.

* * *

The third time it happens, Akira is back in Inaba.

He is fishing at the Samegawa flood plains and Goro is sitting next to him. It is a cold evening in Inaba, or at least it is so near to the water, and Akira is wearing a huge windbreaker, but because it's a dream, Goro's wearing his summer uniform, showing off his arms, and doesn't look cold at all.

"Sorry about the last time," Akira bites out.

"It's such a heartless sport," Goro comments, ignoring him. He leans back to rest on his hands and tilts his head up to stare at the sky, like he can't bear to witness the fishing bobber bouncing with the waves. Akira follows the arch of his bared throat with his eyes, traces a line from the tip of his chin to the hollow between his collarbones where the topmost button of his white cotton shirt rests.

He swallows. "Why?"

Goro tilts his head over and meets his gaze, eyes gleaming russet in the low light. "You hurt them and release them, all for your own enjoyment. Isn't it inhumane?"

Akira turns back to the water. The waves are black and blue, like a bruise. 

"You liked the aquarium didn't you?" he doesn't wait for Goro to reply. "I could keep what I catch in an aquarium instead. I'd take good care of it. It'd always be happy and full. It could make friends with Morgana."

Goro sucks in a short breath through his teeth. There's a shuffling as he sits up, arms crossed and scowling, no more coy hints of a blunt-knife-jawline, no more long, relaxed lines of toned legs and rounded shoulders. Akira feels a small pang of regret at his throwaway comment.

"We are not fish, Akira."

Akira nods, agreeing easily. "I never said we were." 

Goro does not look appeased. "Anyway, I can't imagine it could ever be happy with the four corners of a glass box when it could have the whole wide ocean."

"It'd be a freshwater fish. It wouldn't be happy in the ocean."

Goro glares at him. "River then."

Akira lets silence linger between them for a moment. 

"I only catch what I need for Morgana and I." he says eventually. He shifts his feet back and forth, making divots in the rocky riverbank. "I compost the bones for the flowers on my balcony."

Goro considers him for a moment then shuffles over, so near that Akira thinks he can feel the heat of him through the windbreaker. He leans into him, resting his head on Akira's shoulder. His hair tickles Akira's neck. It smells like coconut. "You really shouldn't want me alive," he says, soft as the fur over Morgana's ears, "I tried to kill you."

Akira hardly dares to breathe, but he finds his voice, "I am not a smart man." It comes out strangled. 

"I know that," Goro scoffs, but then he sighs. His breath is warm. "I have to be the smart one for the both of us."

"What do you mean?"

Goro stands up and Akira has a split second to miss the warmth of him, before he remembers how these dreams always end.

He gets to his feet hurriedly, but he's too late, Goro is already turning away and the flood plains are blurring around his outline, like Akira's in person at a painting in a trick art museum and Goro is walking into two dimension. He stays rooted in place, not daring to move as the world begins to sway.

"Come back." His voice breaks. Goro looks over his shoulder. The entropy of the world pauses with Goro's conflicted eyes and Akira's desperate heartbeat. Goro has a corner of his lip between his teeth. "Stay. Please."

"Let me go, Akira."

Goro turns and starts running. Akira's desperation wins out over his nausea and he chases after, but the blue and the black and the rocks and the sky, they blend and rush to meet him, and all too suddenly Akira finds himself sitting up in bed in a too quiet house, hands in fists in his duvet.

This time he does cry.

* * *

Morgana is concerned.

"It must be terrible to have nightmares about him all the time," he says, leaping up onto the kitchen counter to watch Akira make breakfast.

"It's not all the time."

Morgana's tail swishes agitatedly and Akira moves a pair of commemorative salt and pepper shakers away from him. "Well, I think it's an unhealthy amount."

Akira nods even though he doesn't agree, but he's trying to convince Morgana that he's fine, and Morgana is more easily swayed when Akira tells him he's right.

"Do you feel guilty about it? Is that why?"

This makes Akira pause. The butter in the pan sizzles, spinning around and around with the heat.

Sure. Akira feels guilty, for being willing to destroy his friends' happiness all for the sake of preserving his own, because in a perfect reality where everyone was happy and he wasn't needed, where did he belong? So yeah, he is guilty, for being overjoyed that for once, what was right and what he wanted had aligned in a beautiful eclipse, where all his dark and dirty motivations fell under the shadow of a greater good. Doubly so, for being willing to turn on all those lauded "morals" for the sake of Goro's life.

But he is not guilty for Goro's death.

He wakes from these dreams, angry and bitter, resentful even, but not guilty. He wakes, reminded of how there was an option available to Goro, a path where he could have been alive and near and _alive_ and Goro said no. Goro made him say no. He wakes thinking of how he gave it all up and in the end everyone decided to chase after their own dreams anyway, and he would never begrudge them that, but he does, he does, because he has nothing to chase, nothing to want, and doesn't that make him such a selfish monster? He wakes grinding his teeth, scratching the bedsheets, trying to focus on his breathing the way Dr Maruki had taught him, when he was still just an unassuming, bumbling high school counsellor, struggling with his PhD-

And Morgana sees only that last part and he assumes that Akira wants the dreams to end, but Akira doesn't have the words to explain why, as much as the rage threatens to eat him alive those nights, why more than anything-

He is afraid.

He is afraid that one day he will wake up and he won't remember the way Goro's hair framed his face. That he won't recall the exact color of Goro's eyes when the sun was low, how they were brown and also a bleeding, honest, angry red. That he won't be able to say for sure if Goro's voice was lilting or low, light or raspy. And he won't even know that it's happening, but as sure the Earth keeps turning and time keeps moving, one day it will slip away from him, _Goro_ will slip away from him.

So he wakes from these dreams, angry and bitter and resentful and afraid - and grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful. That _one day_ is not _today_.

He pours pancake batter into the pan and does not make eye contact with Morgana.

"Maybe I am."

"It's not your fault," Morgana soothes, "You'll realise with time."

Akira bites his tongue and nods.

* * *

Akira finds Shiroku Pub wandering the Central Shopping District at night. The hostess is a kind old lady who runs a department store in the daytime. She's willing to serve him and Morgana, doesn't mind him hanging around in the back of the pub for hours even though he only ever orders a few cheap mocktails.

It reminds Akira of Jazz Jin, even though its not remotely the same - the pub is kind of tacky if he's being honest, it's entirely lit up in purple and there's an actual mirror ball hanging in the back, Goro would have hated it - but it's the closest thing Inaba has to it and Akira finds himself coming back to it on the weekends, whiling away nighttime hours until Morgana demands that they return to get some rest.

So it doesn't surprise Akira when the fourth time happens, they are in Shiroku Pub. 

In real life, the hostess only ever performs enka, but in this dream she croons a sultry jazz number from the stage. 

Goro is sitting next to him at the bar with his eyes closed, listening to the singer. Violet specks of light catch on his eyelashes, dance across the elegant slope of his nose. His eyes slide lazily open, widening in curious alarm when he catches Akira staring at him, barely a meter between them. 

Akira hastily leans in, hoping that Goro thinks he was intending to do so all along. "Billie Holiday," he whispers, careful not to interrupt the music, "she sounds just like her."

Goro's giving him an appraising look when he leans back, "Do you spend a lot of time here?"

"Most weekends." Akira answers honestly, stirring his mocktail.

"Really? What do you even do here?"

"Listen to the hostess mostly."

Goro levels him a look from under his lashes, blinking slow in what Akira is sure is an attempt to hide an eyeroll. He looks away, leaning back to get a glimpse of the hostess. In this dream her voice rasps and thins, curls around each note like smoke, but she looks the same, little ringlet curls in the style of the 70's, pinned up in a tight bun.

"Does she even sing jazz usually? She doesn't look like the sort."

Akira coughs, "Well no but, Morgana also likes watching Akihiro."

"Akihiro?"

Akira gestures to the huge fish tank to the side of the bar. An arowana swims up, attracted to Akira's finger, and does a little flip.

"Right," Goro says flatly. " _Why_ do you come here?"

Akira drops his gaze to the bar, tracing the wood grain with his finger. "It reminds me of you."

Goro's eyebrows knit together in disapproval. "I thought I told you to let me go."

"You did."

Goro sighs, looking resigned. He places his hand on the table, ready to get up and leave, but Akira remembers this time and doesn't hesitate to grab it. There's a writing callus under the pad of Goro's thumb and it's rough on the underside of his wrist. Akira's heart is going so fast, he's half afraid he'll wake.

Goro doesn't move, doesn't snatch his hand back, just stares at their clasped palms. Akira's knuckles are white, fingertips red, nails digging crescent moons in the back of Goro's hand.

"Why?" Goro asks, voice low and grainy, "I tried to kill you."

"You've said. You also saved me.”

"That's hardly enough reason."

Goro's eyes when he looks up are bronze tonight, steel and flinty. It reminds him of all the times Goro stood against the lockers in Maruki's palace, guarded and angry, arms crossed like a barrier between him and the world, and simultaneously the most honest he had ever been. Akira lets go of Goro's hand to lean in close, seized by a burst of impulsivity, watching his eyes go warm and sweet with surprise, caramel and honey.

"Is this?"

He presses his lips to Goro's. They're soft. Cold from the ice in his drink. His layered fringe tickles Akira's nose. Goro's breath is paused, startled and still in his lungs. The kiss lasts a lifetime, but it's the shortest second in the world before Akira is pulling away.

The world goes quiet as Goro stays silent and Akira's courage floods away in a rush, leaving him shaky and breathless. When he dares to look up, Goro has his head down, staring at his lap.

Akira bites down on the inside of his cheek. 

"I'm sorry, that was selfish. I just always wanted to- I should have, before, but I just-" he sighs, cutting himself off and squeezing his eyes tight, "Look, I'm sorry. Was there anything you wanted? Before you-"

_Died._

He can't even bring himself to say it.

Suddenly, Goro's hands are fisted around the lapels of his jacket, dragging him off his chair, pulling him in and Akira's ready, braced for the punch that he deserves-

But then there's a gentle hand carding through his hair, another caressing his jaw, angling his head back to rest warm and comforting on the back of his neck. They are kissing again and its not small and tentative like before. Goro tongues along the seam of his mouth like a question and Akira parts his lips in the only right answer. Goro tastes like cherry daiquiri, like mint and lime, and maybe this is sacred magic or maybe it's his subconscious making metaphors because Goro's got him unbalanced, fallen right into his lap, arms around him clinging like he's a lifeline...

When Akira blinks awake, tears fall from his eyes. 

Morgana is confused.

"It looked like a good dream," he frowns, jumping down from his perch on the windowsill to butt his head against his cheek.

"Yeah," Akira says around the lingering taste of cordial on his tongue, "it was."

* * *

Inokashira Park in the firm grip of spring is always a magnificent sight. The trees are a shock of pale pink, the blooms bright and healthy, not yet time for them to fall. The water is clear all the way to the bottom and the boughs of the trees almost skim the water, reaching for their reflections. 

This time of year, the park is always filled with tourists, but today Akira is miraculously alone. 

"Ah, I was hoping to meet you here."

Or perhaps, not so alone.

It's too warm out for Goro's trench coat, but he still looks stuffy in his woolen pea coat and the forest green turtle neck he's paired it with. His posture's casual, he doesn't look at Akira, even as Akira stares him down, just gazes out at the lake, letting his words address him instead.

"Won't you walk with me?"

Akira nods. Goro doesn't see it, but he starts off briskly down the path anyway. Akira follows by his side, keeping pace with him.

"Did you know that relatively few animals have been domesticated? The list is so short in comparison to the multitude of species that exist, and even on that list, the status of domestication of some of the animals are debated."

Akira frowns, confused by the choice of topic, but he knows better than to ask after Goro's intentions. He's never been good at metaphors, no finesse, too ham-fisted, but apparently the Goro of his dreams is as dedicated to being confusing and contrary and mysterious as the real Goro always was.

"No, I didn't know that." he ventures, after a beat of consideration. 

It seems to be a satisfactory answer, because Goro keeps going, "There's a difference between domestication and taming. Taming is when a wild animal learns to tolerate man. Domestication changes the species down to its genes, sometimes such that it would never survive out in the wild again."

Running away and playing chess, leaving him behind and kissing him breathless. What do any of these have to do with each other? Maybe if he sits to think about it, there's a last message in there somewhere, a God-given goodbye. Maybe all the first words or last words or middle words line up to spell a message, maybe every word means something else and the cipher key is A = E. 

"That's interesting."

"Isn't it? What's particularly interesting to me is the domestication of the goldfish. Would you like to hear about it?"

But Akira is not convinced that there's any closure to be had in the solution to this puzzle. 

"Enlighten me."

"Carp used to be caught for food in China, but in Buddhism, it is a good deed to spare an animal , especially if it is rare. So people would often set free bright red and yellow carp into temple ponds and over the course of many centuries those carp became completely different from the wild carp."

Akira doesn't need any final messages. Goro died to save them all and it would never be worth it, no last words from Goro of the afterlife or of his subconscious could ever change that. So this is enough. Just seeing Goro again is enough. 

It has to be enough. 

"Hmm."

"They were free captives in ponds of mercy. They used to hide and turn up their noses the food that was placed into the water, but over time they learned trust. Now, if you go to those temples in China, the fish come right up to you, knowing that they will be fed."

Goro slows down his pace and comes to a stop, facing the lake. He's still avoiding Akira's eyes, in the most deceptively casual manner he can manage. Akira doesn't call him out on it, just stops alongside him. 

At this point in the path, the fences are right at the edge of the water. Their reflections stare back at them. Neither of them are smiling. It's almost somber, despite the blue sky and pink trees.

"Here we are," Goro announces.

"What about it?"

From the inner coat pocket, Goro produces 2 small packets of fish food, the kind that vendors at the entrance sell. As though they can smell it, huge gray and silver fish begin to gather in their shadows, their mouths opening and closing greedily at the surface, disturbing their reflections. Akira takes the packet that Goro hands him and Goro opens the other, scattering a few pellets into the water. They disappear quickly, snapped up by all the little, stupid mouths.

"The fish in this lake are completely free," Goro says, tossing more food into the water, "They could leave at any moment, they don't need us at all, but they trust us now. They trust that we will be good to them." Goro looks up. Locks eyes with Akira for the first time in this entire dream.  
  
Goro looks expectant, as if a question has been asked, as if Akira should know what he means, what he's truly talking about when he drones on and on about fish and China and domestication. And it is so like Goro to do this, to say the longest words for the simplest of meanings, to cite philosophy and psychology as a source for common sense. He always, always over complicated everything, choosing rivalry over attraction, martyrdom over teamwork, death over happiness.  
  
Akira feels his irritation boil in his veins.

Taking care to show no expression whatsoever, he opens the packet and, without breaking eye contact with Goro, upturns the entire packet into the water. The fish go into a feeding frenzy, splashing about and sending droplets everywhere. Goro's jaw drops.

"Why would you do that?" Goro sputters incredulously, "Those are 500 yen a pack!"

"I know. It's daylight robbery, I could make this from my compost. It's a waste of money and this is a waste of my sleep. Say what you mean."

There's a moment as Goro just stares at him, eyes comically wide- and then he bursts out laughing.

Goro laughs so hard he's practically doubled over. His laughter is sweet and light, without any bitterness or sarcasm, and Akira's irritation bleeds away. If all it took to make Goro laugh like this was for Akira to lose his temper, then Akira would have gladly been angry every single day.

"Do you even know how long it took to set this up?" Goro gasps between laughs, wiping tears from his eyes, "All of my planning and you crash through it like a bull in a china shop. Why did I expect anything less?"

Akira smirks at him and Goro seems to collect himself, straightening up with a sigh, but he's still smiling.

"What's your address in Inaba?"

"Why?"

Goro curls his lip, "Just give it to me."

"472-1072, Enzan Shimodawara, Inaba-shi, Yamanashi," Akira recites. Goro mouths along after him, like he's trying to commit it to memory. "What do you need my address for?"

"I know you're not terribly observant, Akira, but surely by now you must have noticed that these dreams aren't ordinary."

"Like that there are no tourists?"

Goro sighs as though he's teaching math and Akira's a particularly thick child, "No, in the sense that you remember every detail when you wake. Do you usually remember all of your dreams?"

Akira frowns, "No… but these are about you. Of course I would remember them."

Goro scowls, but there's two bright spots of color high on his cheeks. "You truly are brainlessly sentimental."

"Look, just spit it out already, what are you trying to say?"

"We're dreamwalking. We've been sharing dreams."

Akira's heart stops in his chest. "No… That's not possible… You're-"

"Dead? I thought I would be too. But I woke up at the construction site of that stadium in Tokyo. I've been laying low, no one seems to remember me. I've been trying to figure out how much has changed…"

Akira tries to wrap his head around what Goro's saying and the park around them fades in and out of fuzzy blackness. Goro frowns at this and grabs hold of Akira's shoulders. "Calm down, Akira. You're going to wake up."

Akira shrugs him off violently. "No. No, no, no. Calm down? Goro, you can't just- You're alive? Why would- How could you say something so cruel?"

Even through his panic, he can see Goro's uncertainty and hurt flash clearly across his face, before his expression shutters. "Cruel?"

There are tears stinging his eyes. His throat burns. "You can't just say things like that." His voice cracks. He sounds hysterical. "You don't understand. I'll believe it. I've mourned you once. I'm still mourning you now, again. You say you're alive and I'll believe you and I'll hope, but I can't mourn you a third time. It'll destroy me. Goro, do you know what you have done to me?"

His vision blurs with his tears and the world swims into black and back, when suddenly there's a flash of brown and he's being gathered into a hug, arms wrapping firmly around him. 

"I promise you, I am alive," Goro says against his neck, his chest rumbling with the words. Akira sobs against his shoulder in response. 

Goro pulls back a little only to press their foreheads together. The world is completely black now, but he remains crystal clear against the dark. He wipes a tear from Akira's cheek with his thumb.

"April 15, 2:30PM. I'll be there. Wait for me," he says.

And on the next blink, Akira's staring at his ceiling, heart thundering in his chest, the press of Goro's thumb still warm against his face.

* * *

_*ring ring*_

_*ring ring*_

_*click*_

"Hey Futaba."

"No, yeah. I'm missing you guys a lot. It's really boring here."

"Yeah. Yeah. No, I've been good. There's just nothing to do."

"Morgana's fine too. How've you been? How's school?"

"Oh, that's good! Have you been keeping up with Sumire?"

"Yeah? Yeah? Great!" 

"Yeah, I'm sure she's busy. How's Sojiro? His back still giving him trouble?"

"Oh, he can hear me? Ahahaha, I'm teasing! I'm teasing."

"But you'll text me right?"

"Okay, good. I was just worried."

"Yeah, I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"No, I wasn't planning on starting college so soon."

"I just want a bit of time. Last year was a whirlwind."

"Oh, I'm really happy for them. Makoto got that internship too, right?"

"Yeah and Haru with her new branch. Yeah."

"No, yeah I did see Ann on that magazine."

"Ryuji's texted me too, I heard about the track scholarship."

"I know it's amazing. It really is."

"Yeah, I saw Yusuke's painting online."

"YouTube, of the art feature."

"Yeah. It's gorgeous."

"No, don't worry about it. Seriously. I know everyone's been busy."

"No, I get it, don't worry."

"Yeah… Hey, Futaba? Can I get a favor?"

"Could you let me know if there's been anything new on Akechi?"

"I'm not still on it. I’m just curious."

"You still check on the Google alerts? No new hits?"

"Right, right. But could you just check again?"

"You just checked last week? Why?"

"Oh… You didn't have to do that for me."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. Really."

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just… I just had a really weird dream."

"Yeah, I'm sleeping fine, I swear."

"No, Morgana's… out, right now. You can't talk to him."

"I kicked him out for exercise. He's gotten so fat."

"No, it's because I keep buying him the good tuna that he likes. He's been spoiled rotten."

"Oh, yeah. He sleeps so much, you have no idea."

"Ann said that?

“Yeah, I’ll let him know, he’ll be delighted.” 

“Hey… You'll let me know if anything new comes up on Akechi, right?"

"Yeah. No. I know. I've seen it too. It's like he never existed."

"Yeah… But."

"Yeah. I just keep…"

"I'm sorry. I know. It's not fair to you, or Haru… But, he was also…"

"Yeah… That's valid. But…"

"Please?"

"Thanks. I'm sorry." 

"Thanks. Really."

"Yeah. Hey, call again soon, okay? I miss you."

"I love you too."

"Yup, goodnight. Bye."

_*click*_

_*beep beep beep beep*_

* * *

April 15 is a Saturday. Akira's parents aren't home, but then again they seldom ever are. It works out in his favour today. Akira lays on his side on the bed, watching Morgana pace anxiously back and forth on his table, daintily sidestepping the wires and clutter strewn about.

He didn’t sleep a wink last night, too keyed up to get any rest at all. To his credit, Morgana hadn't said a word, just wound around his legs and napped next to him as Akira passed the hours watching murder documentaries.

Now, their situations are reversed. The closer the time gets to 2:30PM, Morgana grows increasingly restless and Akira gets more and more lethargic.

Akira takes a look at the clock above the table. It's 2:15PM now, 15 more minutes to go.

Morgana notices him looking at the clock and sits primly on his closed laptop, curling his tail around his paws. He glances up at the clock as well, before turning his head to stare at Akira over his shoulder.

For a moment neither of them say anything. Then they both start up at the same time.

"I still think you're getting your hopes up!"

"We've been over this already!"

Morgana narrows his eyes, turning about and lying down, tucking his paws under his chest. He looks supremely disapproving. His eyes in the sun are little slits. "It could have just been a dream."

Akira sighs and takes off his glasses, pressing his face into his hands. "Don't you think I know that?"

"You're not acting like you know it!" Morgana yowls, showing off rows of tiny, sharp teeth. "Look at you, you're beside yourself! What if nothing happens? Are you going to fall apart all over again?"

Akira glares at him. "I can't help it," he hisses, "it could have been a dream. It could have been real. After all we went through, would dreamwalking really be the strangest thing to happen?"

"No. The strangest thing to happen would be the dead coming to life." Morgana retorts with an injured sniff, "This is the Metaverse, not the Bible."

"Because you know so well how the Metaverse works," Akira snipes, watching with satisfaction as Morgana bares his teeth in a hiss. "We don't know for sure that Goro died."

"Well, we don't know that he lived either! And guess which possibility the evidence points to?"

Akira scowls then bites his lip and turns over, burying his face in his pillow.

There's a tiny sigh and a soft thump, and then there's a warm weight on the small of his back. "I'm sorry."

Akira sighs into the pillow. "Don't be," he mumbles tiredly, "you're just being honest."

"I could have put it better." Little paws knead his back. Akira tries to focus on the sensation instead of the nervousness in his gut. 

"Say Morgana…" 

Morgana pauses and Akira twists his head sideways so his words aren't muffled. "I know Futaba didn't see a signal. I know Goro said he didn't remember anything after he was shot. I know it could have just been a dream and 2:30PM today might be just like 2:30PM yesterday… But… Could you just let me have this for the next 10 minutes?"

Morgana leaps off his back and comes around to his face. His whiskers are twitching with displeasure, but he gives Akira a terse nod anyway. "Alright. So, if he comes. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Morgana screeches, puffing out his haunches in indignation, "What a waste of humanity! You sweep him off his feet. You kiss him passionately and declare your love! You tell him you'll never let him go! Do you have a single romantic bone in your body? Have you taken too many knock downs to the head?"

Akira snorts, but he can't help the grateful smile spreading across his face. "You're such a hopeless romantic."

Morgana settles down next to his head. "Better than you. You're just hopeless."

"Harsh." Akira rolls over on his back. The clock reads 2:25PM. He covers his eyes and groans. 

Morgana purrs comfortingly next to his ear. "There, there… If he did all you say he did in your dreams, I'm sure it'll be fine."

"What if it is really awkward?" Akira whines, "I mean, what do you even say when someone you love comes back from the dead? 'Hello, how are you? How was your train ride?'"

Morgana bats his forehead with just a hint of claw. "No, you idiot. Just kiss him."

He laughs into the pillow as Morgana tackles his head, biting at his hair. He tussles with Morgana for a bit, lightly shaking his head from side to side until Morgana's had enough and flops away.

The room is quiet now that they aren't talking - or arguing - and along with the quiet comes the return of all of his doubts. He reaches out to pet Morgana, trying to distract himself. "What time is it?"

Morgana cracks open an eye, then sits up, ears flattened against his head. "2:29PM."

Akira sucks in a breath through his teeth and sits up as well, pulling Morgana into his lap and hugging him. Morgana yelps but goes along with it, his tail lashing discontentedly. 

"What if he doesn't come?" he whispers hoarsely into the top of Morgana's head, "What if it really was just a dream?"

Morgana's ears flicker. "10 minutes aren't up yet," he says, then sighs. "But… If it is, then we'll figure it out. It's going to be okay."

"Yeah?"

"Hope springs eternal right? I'm the embodiment of human hope, I should know. You'll get through it."

Akira smiles weakly against his fur. "Yeah, you're right."

Morgana squirms out of his arms and hops on to the floor, disgruntledly grooming himself. "I'm always right. It's about time you learned that," he says between licks.

Akira's phone vibrates noisily on the nightstand. He reaches over to turn it off and Morgana winces at him, "That's the 2:30PM alarm, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he sighs.

They stay quiet for a moment. Akira watches as Morgana's furry face goes through a series of complicated emotions, before he turns to Akira with regretful eyes.

He opens his mouth to say something-

The doorbell rings.

**Author's Note:**

> It's Pizza Hut!
> 
> I'm kidding!!! The ending is fully up to you. Will Goro and Akira be reunited to work through all their trauma together with LURVEEE, or is Akira making mountains out of molehills? You decide his fate.
> 
> Some other stuff:
> 
>   * This work is part of the 21+ akeshuake server minibang event!! Please check out all the amazing works [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/21_plus_akeshuake_server_events) and all the fantastic art pieces [here](https://twitter.com/hashtag/21plusakeshuakeminibang)!
>   * Title is the translated lyrics from a Mandarin song I love called He-R by Crowd Lu.
>   * I feel like whenever I see Morgana in fic, he is always grossed out by Akira's love/sex life, but I feel like that's such a waste because Morgana is such a romantic over Ann!!! He'd totally be the most supportive friend ever.
>   * When I told my partner about how I chose to end this fic he called me evil… You guys still love me, right? TwT
> 

> 
> As always, let me know if you liked this! Send me pictures of pizza at [tumblr](https://ciasquare.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/ciasquare).


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